slatestarscratchpad:

Conspiracy theory: “cream” is a cruel joke perpetrated upon people who don’t understand cooking.

All the recipes I want to make require “cream”. So I go to the grocery store, and they’ve got sour cream, cream cheese, half-cream-half-milk, whipped cream, whipping cream, ice cream, cookies-n-cream…but no cream. I ask the grocery store workers, and they say “Oh, you want cream? We have whipped cream here, and half-cream-half-milk here…” and I ask “Yes, but which of those is just cream?” and they refuse to tell me.

I think I’ve tried practically all of them in recipes that require cream, and they all taste bad. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a bad cook, or because hidden somewhere there is cream and I just need to find it.

If they’ve got “whipping cream,” that’s probably the one you want.

EDIT: Oh Jesus you have like a million answers in your reblogs wtf never mind, you want the Sour Cream.

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