sorry you feel that way, I’ve just seen a few relationships that would technically fail this test and I cannot bring myself to condemn the people involved.
Honestly, if you can’t bring yourself to condemn those who willfully hurt others or condemn those who willfully reward
those who willfully hurt others, then congratulations, you’re part of the reason why this world is so shitty.
So long as we reward and worship those who hurt others and shit on the people who are hurt, this world will continue to be a shitty place to live. Because there’s no reason for anyone to want to be a good person when being a hurtful asshole gets you better rewards and results. Nor can victims do much to successfully defend themselves when everyone rushes to support their abusers.
There are some things I refuse to bend on, and this is one of them. I’ve spent too much of my time being hurt and watching the people who hurt me get all the support while I get punished for defending myself (and knowing other abuse and bullying victims who suffered the same), to feel any sympathy for the other side in this matter.
And if I lived in a country where we were being conquered or occupied, I would do my best to help fight back and would have zero sympathy for a woman who’d rather reward our conquerors for their actions than take up arms against them or give support to those who take up said arms. Just like I would equally condemn a man who supported and rewarded
our conquerors. I don’t hold my fellow women to less or different standards than I would hold a man to.
I think you’re jumping a little bit here, no one is encouraging wilfully hurting other people, specifically.
For example, there are stories of Iraqis who worked with Americans as translators and other support staff following the toppling of Saddam Hussein who were then targeted for persecution or killed by people who wished to force the Americans out and destabilise the new regime.
Now personally I thought invading Iraq was a bad idea, and Saddam being dick didn’t really change that. But nevertheless, I can’t condemn a translator working for the Americans to earn a living, or marrying a soldier or whatever, it happens and it’s okay, not everything is tied to nationalism.
This example isn’t as unrelated as it seems: the new Iraqi state was obviously working with the Americans and dependent on the Americans in much the same way as Vichy France was, and a Sunni Iraqi could well insist that collaboration with this regime was abhorrent, and worthy of punishment or shaming. But I can’t take that step.
Life is complicated and we are all tugged in different directions by many forces, I think it’s too easy to make unequivocal statements about what people should do which are much murkier once you’re actually in that situation.
Honestly, if you can’t bring yourself to condemn those who willfully hurt others or condemn those who willfully reward those who willfully hurt others, then congratulations, you’re part of the reason why this world is so shitty.
condemn those who willfully reward those who willfully hurt others
This line, understood broadly enough to cover French women sleeping with German soldiers, condemns all humanity.