comparativelysuperlative:

hollowedskin:

i never want context for this.

So the LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

And the serpent said to the LORD God, “Haha, says you.”

…clearly it had fucking legs. I wasn’t yet five years old when I realized that a snake was a lizard with no legs. Satan was a lizard that God turned into a lizard with no legs. A lizard. I am going to write that some more. Lizard lizard lizard. What, did you think God’s curse was “you’ll remain the same as before except forget how to do the thing you used to do?” No! Clearly it had some other mean of locomotion (LIZARD locomotion! On lizard legs!) and God said “yeah you’ll have none of that any more, now you must always stay on your belly.”

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