slatestarscratchpad:

Seeking advice:

Been on a couple of dates recently with acquaintances. I’m always a little nervous about whether the other person is actually enjoying it or just going along out of social pressure, so at the end I’ve been saying “That was fun, we should do this again some time, let me know if you’re ever free” and then letting them make the next move.

This has never worked.

Should I interpret this as “I guess they weren’t enjoying themselves and did just come along out of social pressure”, or as “women are so bad at taking initiative that even if I start by initiating the first date and then ask them to initiate the second one, they will never do it”?

Why would you ever expect anybody to arrange anything? Unless you’re dating a go-getter CEO, that date is (something they want) and (never going to happen) because people are terrible at arranging things.

This is not a “women are so bad at taking initiative”-thing it’s a “people are so bad at taking initiative”-thing. Women just have the built-in excuse that in the dating world, they’re also not supposed to.

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