- long day at work
- stop to buy funeral clothes
- get home and as soon as I open the door it comes out that my MIL has been designing the funeral program in open office and can’t figure out how to get it to print right
- throw up my literally a professional page designer for nearly two decades hands and say “just give me what you’ve got and I’ll do it” like I did last week when I didn’t have just ONE night left to get this done
- she didn’t save the images to her desktop, she just linked them inline from Pinterest where she saved them on an inspiration board
- log in to pinterest for the first time in, fuck, what, 3 years?
- oh fucking god she has an american patriot board
Okay. It is 100% necessary to my mental health that I do not under any circumstances click on that.
Also if I post about drinking anything other than coffee or water for the next three days any of the tumblr peeps who have my phone number are encouraged to call me and tell me to put the bottle down.
Whoops, didn’t even have to click over to the american patriot board to find the antiabortion memes.
Man, I feel fucking awful for Chanty Binx because you just know she’s going to end up in lolcats style feminst pwnage for the next fifty fucking years.
And I wanna see the model release for one particular photoshop of jesus because I’m 80% sure it’s just a metalhead in a white robe, like that is the blondest, most nordic looking jesus I’ve ever seen.
Scorching hot take here: Pinterest is exceptionally bad.
Like I know we shit on tumblr, and tumblr deserves that shit, but I think pinterest might combine all of the things that I most detest about social media into a single, credit-stealing website.
I looked through my old boards and there was one called “clothes I don’t hate” that was trying to figure out what I could wear to work and one of the suggested pins at the bottom is a tee shirt that says “directed by wes anderson” and I feel called out.
look at that straggly beard and that center part. That’s not the son of god, that’s the bassist who joined the black metal band halfway through the tour when their first bassist got arrested for goat-related crimes.
Love too manually format text
Love too make it e v e n by hand
Love when I can’t J U S T I F Y
So I just do the best job that I can
Anyway! Folks! Here’s some handy dandy info if you’re formatting text for print or have a bunch of spaced out stuff that you don’t want spaced out:
“Shift+Enter” takes away the space between paragraphs if you’re manually formatting.
Just like on Tumblr. Look, this is a regular paragraph break:
Here you can see there’s a space between the two lines?
This is a shift+enter paragraph break:
They’re right on top of each other!
Space between paragraphs makes things more readable, especially if you’re looking at text on a screen, so it has become the standard formatting for most word processors. They also usually have the option to turn off spaces between paragraphs and you can google that (”how do I turn off spaces between paragraphs in office libre/word 2007/google docs”) and get an answer.
If you manually format it by deciding that you’re going to hit the tab button until things are about where you want them and then you hand me the fucked-up text that you created I’m going to tell your dog that you don’t love it.
Please, please for the love of fuck if you’re handing text to a graphic designer or page editor or someone putting together your annual holiday letter, I beseech you: Just write a normal fucking paragraph of text. You don’t have to make it fit anything other than the word count, don’t worry about getting things to the next line because you’re fitting it on a half-sheet, your page layout person will do that and tell you if there’s a problem.
But it is literally faster for me to re-type this shit than it is for me to go root out all the weird little triple spaces and tabs you put in to make this fit.
At the risk of Mansplaining to a graphics person who maybe already knows this:
You can find/replace to turn tabs into spaces to turn five tabs into five spaces.
Then, you can find/replace “SpaceSpace” with “Space” to turn five spaces into three spaces, then again to turn three spaces into two, then again into 1.
At that point, the only issue should be that some paragraphs now start with a space. If you copy the text into Notepad++, then go EDIT > Line Operations > Sort Lines Lexigraphically, all those lines should be sorted into one end of the document, making them easy to find in Np++, and once you know how they read, they should be easy-ish to find in the word document or wherever you’re working.